I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
