I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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