96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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