Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dignity is for republicans.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
