making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
