Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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