i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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