Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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