So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
