Jerry, you need to find god
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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