I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
