Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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