Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
