I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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