Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
