yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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