sarcasm needs its own font
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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