help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
