Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
