..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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