Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
