Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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