I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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