Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
