he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
