So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
