Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
