you turned your livingroom into a bong?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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