Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
