saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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