Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
