no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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