So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
