im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
