i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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