She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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