he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
