I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
