You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i will never coherently bang her
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
