You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
