I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
