Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
