Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
