Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
