I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
