Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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