you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Girls should come with a carfax report
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
