her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
