Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
