Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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