I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
