barbara walters just said penis...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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