You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
